Christmas in September
by Julie Ann Pope
Summary: Yuletide 2013 contribution in response to the prompt: 'heart-tuggingly sad fic with a happy ending.' For Aubry.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Sometimes life was shit, Gill mused. In fact, she would probably go so far as to say that it was mainly shit but interspersed with moments of great joy. She would have thought that she was used to it by now, especially after everything that she had seen and done in her job. She had delivered bad news to very good people on countless occasions and although she was usually saddened by the circumstances, she managed to deal with it professionally and maintain her composure for the sake of the loved ones left behind. The trouble was that when it came to her personal life she was strong on the outside but shattered into a million pieces on the inside. Just like when everything had come to a head with Dave and his numerous affairs. In spite of the turmoil she felt inside, she had dug deep and developed additional strength for Sammy and appearances sake. This was going to be another such occasion where she was going to have to battle on through, no matter how awful she really felt.

Gill had left work early to get the prognosis with her. No one yet knew and she had several people to tell as soon as she was able to. Of course she couldn't have left it to her, she was in enough of a fragile state as it was, but it wasn't going to be easy and worse when it was someone you loved so very dearly. Gill had come back to an empty house and she had been grateful for it for a while. It had given her time to absorb the news herself before the unenviable task of breaking it gradually to those who needed to know. She took advantage of being early for once and had decided to make a proper dinner so that they could sit at the table together. It was something that happened rarely because of the nature of her job.

Gill stood at the hob stirring something in a couple of large pans when she heard the sound of a key in the door. Her heart plummeted to her stomach and her body thrummed with nervous energy in anticipation of the discussion to come.

"Hiya love, I'm home!" Of course Julie would have parked next to her car on the driveway, so she knew that she was already there. Gill was relieved that it was Julie who had arrived home first, for an awful moment she had thought that Sammy might have beaten her to it. At least this way round she felt that she would have some back up when she told him and that she had some support for herself. Gill couldn't bring herself to call out and greet her, she didn't think she could find the strength in her voice and so allowed Julie to find her in the kitchen herself. "Mmm, that smells wonderful!" Julie let her nose guide her and she eventually ended up in the kitchen after she had hung up her jacket and put her bag down in the living room.

Julie took one look at Gill and her demeanour and instantly knew that there was something wrong. She hadn't spent at least a decade hopelessly in love with the younger woman without learning a thing or two about her body language. She suddenly remembered where Gill had been going that afternoon, not that she had forgotten, not really. She was usually so busy and focused on what she herself was doing at work that there was never any time to think about what was going on in life away from it. Of course she had discussed it with Gill numerous times before the day itself and earlier that morning before they had both left the house.

"Oh Gill!" She exclaimed and opened her arms out to her. Gill looked straight at Julie, shook her head and fell into a sobbing heap in her arms. It wasn't how she had wanted to deal with it but her emotions hit her all at once and she was knocked sideways in grief and shock. Thank goodness Julie was there to deal with her undignified outburst instead of her breaking down in the office full of her subordinates. Or more importantly in front of Sammy who would need her to be strong and stoic and completely there to support him. Julie worked hard to keep her own tears from escaping. It was fairly obvious that it was bad news, however bad it was she didn't need to know at this point, the only thing that was important was the fact that Gill was clearly upset, devastated by the looks of things. Gill just let herself cry and gave in to whatever had come over her. Deep down she knew that she was in shock more than anything else, the news was too fresh for the grief to have sunk in properly yet. Julie was strong and tall and comforting. She held Gill upright with her love, patience and understanding. Julie wouldn't let her slip under, they would get through this together because that's what they had always done, even before they had finally confessed the depth of their feelings and begun to explore a more romantic relationship with each other.

Gill felt a stab of guilt as she snuggled into Julie's embrace. They hadn't been together all that long, only a few months, although they had seemingly settled into their new relationship quickly and easily. Poor Julie didn't need to be dealing with this extra complication in their lives, especially as it should have been a time when they were free to just enjoy the novelty of being together.

"Sorry…" Gill mumbled into Julie's chest as she began to apologise automatically. She wasn't entirely sure exactly what she was apologising for, the outburst or the fact that their lives were about to get very tough indeed.

"Hey now, none of that. We've already spoken about this." Julie pulled back ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of Gill's face. She gently cupped her chin and stroked her thumb across her damp cheek in a gesture of comfort. "Come on, let's sit down for a bit and you can tell me exactly what we're dealing with." It was such a small thing and a tiny word but the mere utterance of 'we' instantly calmed Gill somewhat. It had all been very well preparing for the worst but when it came down to it she hadn't been quite so sure. Not that she had thought Julie would let her down in any way, just that the reality was sometimes more difficult whatever promises they had made to each other beforehand. Gill left the comfort of their embrace and switched off the hob before joining Julie at the dining room table.

"It's worse than they thought, it's a very aggressive cancer. Invariably if she hadn't have left it as late as she did to go and see her GP in the first place than perhaps she might have had a chance. Although, the specialist said that her lifestyle hadn't helped matters, chain smoking since her teens and well into her sixties…"

"Gill…" Julie interrupted her as she went off on a wittering tangent. It was one of the funny quirks that Julie loved about Gill. At work they were instinctive, probing tangents that would eventually lead to a string of clues or scenarios they could piece together in context of the crime they were investigating. At home Gill tended to ramble endlessly and often forgot the point of that particular train of thought. She only did it when she was emotional or stalling for time. Julie knew that it was both this time around.

"Three months Jules, if that. Three months. She'll never have another Christmas. I won't ever celebrate another birthday with the woman who gave birth to me." Gill covered her face with her hands as though she could shut out the world from witnessing her distress. "How am I going to tell Sammy? He's going to be devastated." Julie pulled her into her embrace once again and held her as she sobbed.

"Okay love, we'll get through this. I promise you, we'll all get through this together." Gill looked up at her lover with watery eyes. "Oh love!" Julie couldn't help but exclaim and her heart ached even more for the younger woman. She wiped away some of the tears from Gill's cheeks and took a deep, calming breath. "Okay, so here's what we'll do. We'll sit Sammy down and tell him together, tonight when he gets in from the academy?" Julie asked Gill as though it were a question but she knew that she really just needed her to take charge for the time being. Gill nodded her assent anyway and it gave Julie the encouragement she needed to continue. "Right, after that, as long as your mum is up to it, we'll have our Christmas early, and then your birthday and anything else we can think of while she can still enjoy it. At least then we know that we've made the most of whatever time there is left and your mum has some lovely memories to take with her." Julie took one look at Gill's face and then realised what a mad, crazy idea it was. Really, what was she thinking? Gill needed time and understanding not to get involved in something that was going to inevitably lead to lots of work for them both. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. It's a stupid idea, don't listen to me, I don't know what I'm talking about." Julie suddenly doubted her ability to help her girlfriend though this awful, awful time and mentally kicked herself for her insensitivity. Gill smiled at the older woman and slowly the smile got wider and brighter.

"I think it's a fabulous idea! Mum would love it, it would give us something to focus on and Sammy would get something out of it too. Oh Julie, whatever would I do without you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Two weeks later and the Murray-Dodson household was full of activity. The house itself had been decorated with festive lights, tinsel and a plethora of trinkets and figurines were scattered around. A huge Christmas tree had pride of place in the living room and was covered from top to bottom in lights and baubles. A stack of gifts sat stacked around its base all waiting to be handed out and opened when the time was right. It wasn't anywhere near Christmas in the real world but for the inhabitants of this particular house, time was a luxury they could ill afford. A tree's worth of cards had steadily arrived through the letterbox over the last few days; friends and family as well as colleagues and anyone else who was remotely connected to them had chipped in to do their bit. News of Betty's prognosis had spread quickly particularly as Gill had to have more time off work than usual to accompany her mum to more and more check-ups and treatments. Gill desperately hadn't wanted to take the whole chunk of time off work despite the Chief Constable's suggestion that she did. It was important for her that she continued to work, to keep her hand in and remain up to date with what was going on. It gave her something to focus on and some time out and breathing space away from the intensity of the situation at home. It was also important for her team to have consistency and know that she was going to return. Of course Gill still had a few days off here and there so she could make the most of her mum while she was still around. Julie had also offered to be more flexible workwise for the next couple of months. It was only as and when Gill needed her to be as she hadn't wanted to intrude on private family time. She more than understood that there would be some occasions where Gill and Sammy would want to spend time alone with Betty.

Julie had of course offered to make herself scarce on the day they had designated for their own private Christmas celebration. Betty hadn't been rude or nasty about her daughter's new relationship but it was clear that she had a difficult time understanding it. Julie had got along very well with Gill's mum in the past and they had known each other for long enough now that Julie could make her laugh with a few well executed tales from work. Somewhere in their fifteen year friendship Gill had obviously explained to her mother that Julie was gay. It was a subject that wasn't often brought up but from time to time, and Julie had suspected not just out of politeness, Betty had enquired as to whether she had met someone special or if she had been looking recently. It was always said in passing, so that Julie could give her answer and then the topic of conversation was moved on but Betty had always listened and taken in what Julie had disclosed. When Gill had sat her mother down to explain that she and Julie were exploring a romantic relationship with each other Betty hadn't quite known what to make of it. She ended up bogged down with labels and boxes and couldn't really understand that it was just Julie. The right time, the right circumstances and their already long-standing friendship had helped to pave the way for something more. Gill was happy, really happy for the first time in years and Julie, well it turned out that Julie had been waiting a long time for Gill to see the light, as it were. Gill had insisted that Julie was part of the family, always had been really but even more so now, so she was obligated to stay.

Gill had gone to fetch her mother from the hospice and Julie stayed behind to keep an eye on the food and ensure everything was ready for when Gill got back. Betty had only been in the hospice for a few days, she was getting weaker every day and even with the best will in the world, Gill couldn't look after her at home. But she had explained to the staff what their plans were, to spend lots of time with Betty while she was still able to enjoy things and then when she was too unwell to go out and about they would let the staff at the hospice take over. Betty had been very amenable to everything Gill had put to her and was looking forward to their unusual Christmas celebration. Gill arrived and Sammy immediately leapt up from his casual position on the sofa to help his Gran inside.

Naturally he had been devastated when they had sat him down to tell him that Betty was dying. He had a much closer relationship with her than Dave's mum and Betty was a larger than life sort of character. She had been there for both him and his mum when his dad had walked out on them and she'd been supportive of his relationship with Orla despite their tender age. He'd immediately fallen into his mother's arms and sobbed unashamedly. Sammy had always been a sensitive lad and he wasn't embarrassed to be open about his feelings, especially in front of his mum and Julie. He'd even given Julie a big hug, letting her know that he was glad she was there to support his mum but also allowing her to see his own grief and that he was comfortable with it. She had quickly become the step-parent he deserved, unlike his dad's on/off girlfriend. She was more concerned with the new addition rather than the child Dave already had with someone else. Julie had always been around and had never shied away from talking to him on an equal level as opposed to a child. He had asked her many questions about the reality of her job, things that perhaps Gill spared him from on occasion. She was never too graphic but she had always felt that he deserved a truthful answer. They had become friends of a sort and Sammy could imagine a time when perhaps his mum might not be the first person he would go to in a situation and perhaps Julie would be the one he would seek advice from first instead. The way things were with his dad at the moment it certainly wasn't going to be him.

Sammy wrapped a protective arm around his Gran's waist and supported her as she walked slowly and painfully to the front door. Gill stood back and watched her son with pride for a moment before grabbing the bags of odds and sods Betty had insisted on bringing with her. Julie dried her hands on the kitchen towel and stood in the doorway watching Sammy help Betty inside the house. She would ensure that her needs would take a backseat today and do as much of the actual work as she could to make sure the day ran smoothly. Sammy seemed to have his Gran's care well and truly in his stride and needed very little extra support from Julie. She was only needed to guide them through to the living room where a comfortable armchair was waiting for Betty, along with extra cushions and a blanket or two.

The day progressed well and despite Betty's evident ill health she seemed to throw herself in the festivities like it was an ordinary Christmas celebration. They had pulled crackers and worn silly paper hats at the dinner table, feasted on succulent turkey with all the trimmings, supped sparkling wine and devoured rich Christmas pudding with cream. They relaxed with a brandy or two in the living room and Sammy was instructed to dish out the multitude of gifts that Betty had brought with her. Brand new sets of tea towels, pots and pans, crockery and cutlery were piled up between Sammy and Orla for their 'bottom drawer.' Gill had begun to protest that it was too much but Betty had indignantly told her that she as she was the one who was dying she could do what she wanted. That kept her daughter quiet until it came to her turn. In a shoebox filled with tissue paper, a well-loved, hand-knitted doll was carefully presented to her. Tears filled Gill's eyes as she looked at her mother questioningly.

"But I thought…?"

"I couldn't throw it away but you did need to be weaned off the bloody thing. You took it everywhere with you and you were getting far too old for that sort of thing. I pretended that I'd thrown it away so that you had to get on without it." Betty chuckled to herself. "I hated doing it but it had to be done for your own good."

"I can't believe it, after all this time…" Gill went over to her mum and wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you."

"You're most welcome." They shared a hug and a kiss before Gill sat back down again. "Go on Julie, it's your turn." Julie opened the envelope that had her name written on it and read the card that had been inside. "Don't say anything just yet." Betty instructed her and Julie nodded.

"Thank you, it means a lot." Later Julie showed Gill the card which contained two tickets for a romantic weekend getaway in January and a short note which read 'You have my daughter and my blessing. Treat yourselves.' Julie understood that it would be after Betty was no longer here and that Gill would probably need some time away from everything to relax and regroup after everything leading up to her eventual passing. It was a lovely gesture and the acknowledgement of their relationship the icing on the cake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Julie sat facing Betty in her hospital bed. She was halfway through feeding her a mushed up jacket potato with beans and cheese. Betty had gradually begun to lose her ability to chew and now her swallowing function was evidently becoming a problem. Sammy was away for the week on a residential part of his police training and Gill had been called to give evidence in court. She had tried her hardest to get out of it by offering to submit a statement but both the defence and the prosecution had wanted to put questions to her in the box. Julie had instantly offered to visit and feed Betty that evening and had made a point of leaving work early. She had explained the situation to Karen who had been more than understanding but a little surprised as Julie hadn't even told her of her new living arrangements. Of course Karen had been pleased for her and wished her well in her new relationship but had reacted without making any remarks about Gill or her gender. Julie was relieved; all they had wanted was to have been accepted as a couple without any smutty questions or interest in the whys and wherefores. Karen had also told Julie how sorry she was to hear of the situation with Gill's mum and made a point of ensuring that all their time off requirements were met.

Betty had also lost most of her ability to talk so generally Julie talked at her most of the time. As was her customary manner, she had made her chuckle frequently which made the process of feeding her quite lengthy and more difficult as time went on.

"So I mustered up as much confidence as I could gather and walked right in, bold as brass. My Sergeant just stood there with his mouth wide open, not being able to believe what he was seeing!" Julie chuckled at her own anecdote and Betty smiled as best she could in response. Julie held another spoonful of potato mush up to Betty's mouth but the frail woman shook her head and reached out a shaky hand. She touched Julie on the arm and gripped her around the wrist. "Have you had enough?" Betty shook her head and beckoned Julie to come closer.

"Thank you." Julie read her lips better than she could hear Betty's soft and hoarse voice.

"Hey, it's no problem. I enjoy spending time with you." Betty shook her head again, it was one of the few things she could do to communicate as she no longer had her voice.

"Gill. Look after her." Julie looked at Betty with sad eyes.

"I will, when the time comes. But we're not there yet." Betty raised her eyebrows at Julie and looked at her intensely as if to say that she knew she didn't have long left at all. Julie could see in her eyes that she was resigned to it but Betty seemed at peace with it at the same time. "Okay, I promise that I will look after her. I love her very much you know." Betty reached out again to tap Julie on the chest, she gestured to her own chest, right where her heart was and croaked out the word 'love.' Julie knew that Betty finally understood and acknowledged just how much Gill and Julie loved each other.

Less than forty-eight hours later and they had been called up to the hospital as Betty had taken a rapid downward turn and they didn't think she was going to survive the day. Sammy, Orla, Gill and Julie sat around her bed and chatted idly between them. They had already done their bit at taking turns alone with her, to say their goodbyes and now it was just a waiting game. The kids went over their life plan and talked about a few details for their wedding. It wasn't going to be for a couple of years yet, at least until Sammy had qualified and begun his career in the force. Orla still had to get through university and hopefully get her degree. They had briefly thought about bringing it forward so that Betty could attend but Gill had managed to persuade them otherwise. It was one thing celebrating Christmas early but to organise a wedding would have been pushing things too far. Betty had just been happy that they were happy and she had ensured that she told Sammy how proud she was of him for going for a career in the force. Gill held onto Julie's hand for support and barely let go for the entire time they were there.

Gill and Sammy had begun to recall memories of when he was little and Gill embarrassed him by regaling Orla and Julie with tales of his many exploits from attempting to skateboard for the first time to chasing one of his friends around the garden while attempting to kiss her when he was five. He was only stopped by his gran and the lure of cake! She remembered his fondness for worms and how Betty had helped him to collect a jar full from the the garden before spending the rest of the afternoon making mud pies together. Betty had doted on her only grandchild and Sammy knew full well that he was one very lucky boy. They'd laughed together until they were crying tears of joy. It was one of those very surreal occasions where they knew that something very sad and life changing was happening but could do nothing but wait for the inevitable to happen. Julie had sat there and taken it all in, she had remembered some of the stories from being there herself but she really enjoyed hearing about all the little things she had missed in between. She felt slightly awkward that it wasn't really her place to be there but she had known Betty a long time and had wanted to say her goodbyes at the same time as support Gill through one of the hardest times in her life. It had been different with Gill's dad, she'd been so much younger, trying to juggle a young child and the beginning of Dave's wavering fidelity. Bill had a sudden heart attack and had died instantly. There hadn't been any warning or lengthy suffering and despite the horrendous shock it had been better for him that way.

Suddenly the machines began to beep as the heart rate monitor flat-lined. All four of them stood up from their chairs quickly to allow the nurses to carry out their checks. After only a few moments they turned to the family and confirmed that Betty had indeed passed away. Time stood completely still for Gill. The hospital hustle and bustle become white noise, her breath and voice became caught in her throat and a million and one thoughts whirled around her head. She couldn't focus on what to do or say first, the only thing that she could feel was Julie's hand grasping onto hers. That hand was her anchor, it kept her from falling, it was warm and safe and alive, a lifeline in her darkest hour. Julie squeezed Gill's hand gently and softly called her name to bring her back into focus. In reality it had probably only been a few seconds but it had felt like an eternity for Gill. Sammy sought comfort in Orla's arms and cried gently into her shoulder. Tears trickled slowly from Gill's eyes but she made no sound, there would be time enough for emotional outbursts later. Julie made the first move and walked up to Betty's prone form on the sterile hospital bed. Gill went along with her, still joined by their hands. Julie brushed some of Betty's brittle white hair from the side of her face and placed a soft kiss to her brow.

"Rest peacefully Betty," she whispered and looked up at Gill. "I'll wait outside." The younger woman smiled gratefully at her lover and allowed Julie's hand to slip from hers. She immediately felt the loss of Julie's grounding but was comforted by the fact that she hadn't gone too far. Gill ran her hand over Betty's cheek and placed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Bye Mum." She couldn't think of anything more eloquent to say. Everything she had needed to say had already been said and yet there was still more she felt that she could have said. That time had unfortunately now passed. Gill squeezed Sammy's shoulder on her way out. "Take as long as you need love." It was the first time Sammy had ever seen a dead body and experienced such a profound loss, Gill wouldn't begrudge him anything that he needed to get through it and time was fortunately something she could give him right now.

Gill joined Julie outside the ward and they stood apart awkwardly. Julie didn't want to put any additional pressure on Gill and allowed her to come to her if she wanted to. Gill didn't want to create an unnecessary scene in the middle of a hospital but she desperately needed that anchor back, so reached out and grasped Julie's hand again. They locked fingers and Gill leaned against Julie for support.

"I'm so sorry love." There wasn't anything that Julie could say to make it even remotely better so she just hoped that being there was enough.

"I know. There's nothing more we could have done. She was in pain and so frail that it wouldn't have been fair for her to go on. I'm strangely at peace with that."

"I can understand that Gill."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. I honestly don't know how I would have got through all of this without you. You've been so understanding about my time and attention being focused on Mum and at the expense of us. You've chipped in and got yourself involved in things that you shouldn't have had to have done."

"It's what anyone else would have done. We've got a lifetime together, your mum only had a couple of months. I can hardly begrudge you that time now can I?"

"I doubt that certain other people would have been quite so understanding."

"Probably not." Gill looked around them to check that they weren't going to be seen or overheard for at least a few moments. When she was happy that the coast was clear she placed a firm kiss to Julie's lips.

"I love you." Julie enfolded Gill into her arms and held on tight, she felt Gill hug her back just as tightly.

"I love you too. We'll be okay." Behind them Sammy coughed to alert them to his presence and Gill couldn't help but leap away from Julie's embrace. She wasn't ashamed but she was mildly embarrassed to show weakness in front of her son at a time when he needed her to be strong.

"Are you done?" She asked him kindly and he nodded his head.

"Yeah, we've said our goodbyes." He looked so sad and lost, like he was the little boy he once was all over again.

"Come here." Gill opened her arms out to him and he gladly stepped into her embrace. He needed a hug from his mum at a time like this, no matter how old he was or grown up he felt. He pulled Julie into the hug as well and then Gill beckoned for Orla to join them. Once they'd finished their hug en masse, Gill told a nurse that they were leaving so they could move Betty's body to the mortuary. It was a sobering thought that what she and Julie often saw in their day to day lives was going to happen to her mother but they were just following procedure.

Once they had arrived home it was late and they were all too tired and emotional to cook or to even eat. Orla had suggested a take away but Gill and Sammy hadn't really been motivated by food. Julie had told Orla to go ahead and order anyway, perhaps once it had arrived they could be persuaded to eat something, even if only one slice. It turned out to be a good call as they all managed to chomp their way through half a pizza each in the end. More stories had come out over dinner and Gill eventually spoke about the plans her mum had made for the funeral. It still felt surreal, despite having so much time to get used to the idea that Betty had been dying. Later that night Gill reached out to Julie to keep her grounded once again. She needed to feel something other than the dull ache in her chest that had been left by her mother's passing. They had made love until Gill fell apart in Julie's arms and cried out her grief all over again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Gill and Julie's 'real' Christmas was going to be a much quieter affair. Betty had been gone for over six weeks and although still painful, the rawness of the loss had dissipated somewhat. It was a strange kind of atmosphere because they had had a while to get used to the idea that she was dying and had done everything they could to make those last few weeks memorable for all of them trip. Sammy had insisted that he stayed at home with his mum even though they weren't going to do anything to celebrate this year. They were just going to spend the day together, chilling out in front of the television, eating rubbish food and enjoying being together. They would take the time to reflect on what they had lost and offer a toast to Betty in her honour. Sammy had told his dad that in no uncertain terms his mum came first and he would just have to wait his turn for a visit during the festive season. Orla had decided to join them too, her family more than understood the circumstances and had gladly let her spend the day with Sammy and his family. Christmas eve was upon them and they were all due to be at home that evening for dinner, except for the fact that Julie was very late. She had said that she was going to leave work at a reasonable time and make it back in time for dinner. Gill had tried her mobile but Julie either had it on silent or wasn't anywhere she was able to answer it. Gill wasn't at the point of worrying just yet but she knew that she couldn't relax until Julie was at home with them.

Gill heard a car pull up outside and practically ran to the door and eager anticipation of Julie's arrival. Julie grinned at her lover as she took in the apron and tea towel slung over her shoulder.

"Hiya. Were you waiting for me by any chance?" Julie asked playfully, knowing full well that she was very late home. Gill swatted her with the tea towel and ushered her inside.

"Where have you been? Not that I was getting worried or anything…" Julie stepped inside but only pulled the door to instead of closing it behind her.

"I've brought a present home with me."

"We said that we weren't going to give each other gifts this year."

"I know but when you see it you'll understand and I hope you will forgive me." Gill looked at Julie quizzically and raised her eyebrows in the hope of further explanation. "Are Sammy and Orla home?"

"Yes, they've been home ages waiting for you so we can all have dinner. What's going on?" Julie smiled bashfully.

"Just wait a minute. Get the kids and wait for me in the living room, I'll bring it in."

"You've got me very intrigued missus!"

"That's the idea love!" Gill went off and did as asked as Julie went back out to her car. She carefully lifted the box that had been sitting on the backseat into her arms and steadily made her way back into the house. She had lots of other things crammed into the car and boot but this was the most important part of the surprise. She had been so certain up until now but a sudden moment of uncertainly flashed through her mind. What if Gill really didn't like it? What if it just wasn't practical? What if she was being completely insensitive and this ended up backfiring? It was too late to change her mind or do anything about it now, after all it was Christmas eve evening. Julie took a deep breath and prepared to face the music.

Gill, Sammy and Orla were waiting patiently in the living room as requested, all wore eager, intrigued expressions on their faces as Julie walked in. Orla squealed out loud instantly and Julie smiled at her. Trust her to be the one to clue in first.

"Can I see? Can I see?" She leapt up from her seat next to Sammy and approached Julie excitedly.

"Hang on a minute, I want Gill to look first." Julie set the box down on the floor in front of Gill and gestured for her to open it. Really, she should have clued in when she saw the box but perhaps she wasn't in the right frame of mind to notice the little things at the moment. Carefully Gill opened each flap of the cardboard box and her smile grew brighter as her gift was revealed to her.

"Oh Jules!" She exclaimed and tears gathered in her eyes. Two of the cutest kittens Gill could ever recall looked up at her with wide, cherubic eyes. As soon as they saw the light they began to meow in that high-pitched juvenile way that kittens usually had. One was a chubby, fluffy tabby, the other a silky smooth black moggy with white paws, a patch of white on its nose and another patch of white on its chest. Its skinny belly was also white. Orla squealed in the background and couldn't hold back any longer. She dragged Sammy with her to peer into the box. Julie was happy to sit back and watch as the new family members became acquainted with each other. Contentment settled inside of her and she could finally relax with confidence that she had made the right decision. Gill ended up with the tabby crawling all over her lap while Orla had scooped up the black and white moggy and was busy making a fuss of it with Sammy. Gill looked over at Julie and beamed at her before beaconing her over to share in the joy. Julie sat herself down on the floor next to Gill and allowed the tabby to put tentative paws on her lap. Soon it was hopping from one lap to another, enjoying the fuss that each of the women made of it as it did so.

"I hope you don't mind? It's just… I couldn't think of anything more fitting than to acknowledge the passing of one life with the birth of a new one. I saw these two together, sisters by the way, and instantly fell in love with them." Gill leaned into Julie's side and nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck. She was at peace and content and for the first time since her mother's death she felt like the world was coming back into focus.

"You're the most beautiful human being I know. They're perfect and you're right, absolutely just what we need to make our family complete."

"You know, if we'd have been younger and things different…" Julie trailed off and shook her head.

"Go on, what?" Gill encouraged her lover to be open about what she wanted to say.

"You'll think it's silly."

"I won't, I promise."

"I suppose it would have been nice to have had children with you. It's an experience I can never fully understand."

"You're already a great step-mum!" Sammy called out over the noise of kitten's meowing and Orla's continued squeals of delight and cooing. Julie's eyebrows shot up into her hairline and they both looked over at Sammy in surprise. "It's true! You've always been there for me even before you and Mum got together. You understand that I need my space but you always make time for me if I need to talk to you. And you really came through for us when Gran was ill, you spent time with her and helped us to deal with it. And the whole early Christmas thing was your idea in the first place. You don't need to have raised children to be a good parent, you already are."

"Out of the mouth of babes…" Gill muttered wistfully and Julie blushed in embarrassment.

"I don't know what to say…" It made a nice change to see Julie so flustered for once. She was always so calm and in control, even when things were going wrong. Gill leaned over and placed a solid kiss to her lover's lips.

"You don't need to say anything at all love, just know that Sammy and I both love you." Julie returned the kiss and looked at Gill with a serious look on her face.

"And I love you both too." Their next kiss was interrupted by the insistent 'meowing' coming from the tabby sprawled out on their laps. Julie ruffled the fur behind its ears and chuckled out loud. "And these new additions!"

**The End. **


End file.
